Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Dear Bridesmaid: "Get Over Yourself"

I happen to be a fan of Nene and Gregg Leakes and have been enjoying "I Dream of Nene.  Fifteen years of marriage certainly deserves a 15ct ring ...right?!  Last nights episode was one for the record books. From Donald Trump and the pre-nup to the battle of the blended family; I loved it all! 
What an honor it is to have your closest friends and most cherished relatives be apart of your wedding party.  When Gregg met with his groomsmen, the fellas kicked back, shared a few stories,  enjoyed good food and showed an enormous amount of support for their boy and his soon to be again bride. 
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Nene met with THREE of her NINE bridesmaids and what a mess that was.  For some reason Marlo and long time friend Diane felt the need to try and make it about them.  During what was suppose to be time of support these two BridesmaidZILLA's were going back and forth over who was an opportunist, who was genuine .. blah blah blah.  Finally, Cynthia had to jump in with an attempt to bring the two girls back to what the main purpose of being together was... NENE!

As a professional planner, I see this type of behavior all the time from the bridal party.  While the groomsmen are like "man whatever you need"... the ladies might say that with their mouths but their actions are completely different.

As bridesmaids, they'll throw a shower, plan a bachelorette bash and attend other pre-wedding events, which means spending a good deal of time with them. But as we've seen with Nene and plenty of our friends, weddings have a way of bringing out the best and worst in people.

So what do you do about the attendant who's out to steal your spotlight? Or the one who complains all the time? Today, let's talk about one in particular and going forward through the month of October we'll hit on a few more.

I am a DIVA - hear me roar!
Just like Diane and Marlo, this bridesmaid manages to (or at least tries to) make your wedding all about her. This over-opinionated buddy believes the bridal party has to be made up of people that she thinks are worthy.

Watch out: The Diva is trying to steal your thunder! A bride of mine (which will remain nameless) had a dear friend that insisted on being the center of attention.  She wanted to be overly involved in all of the planning for every key event that was going on.  Towards the end of the planning process she became almost a distraction.  If the bride had a headache, this bridesmaidZILLA had a migraine AND a stomach ache.  She complained about the dress because  it didn't compliment her shape, it was too expensive, the color didn't go well with her skin tone, and the list went on.  Mind you, all of this was after being involved in the selection process and agreeing to the dress.  If all of this wasn't enough, she dropped out of the wedding two weeks prior because "she had problems"...smh

Why Why Why?: There are a few reasons a bridesmaid might try to steal the show.  If she's not married, it's possible that she's jealous, especially if she's older than the bride.  She might simply be an attention seeker and envious of all the attention the bride is getting.  Lastly, and most common... she is losing a friend and doesn't know how to handle that.

What To Do?: Communicate - talk...have a heart-to-heart. This is what I suggested to my bride; if for no other reason than to clear her conscious of thinking she's done something to bring on this behavior. 

If you've agreed to participate - be supportive of your friend.  Wedding planning is stressful enough without having to monitor and counsel you.

"Love Without End"
Sharon Patrice Simply Perfect Peace Events, Inc. and Designs by Shay, the Blog "My Journey, My Way, My LIFESTYLE ~ Celebrating Love, Laughter and Everything in Between..." You or your brand interested in a review? Getting married or having a social event and need assistance? Email Me For All Your Event Planning Needs.

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